Andrew Cullen
~ On the Canvas Of Service, 2022
A glimmer of hope…
Content Advisory:
The following story contains personal reflections from an Australian veteran that may include themes of trauma, war-related experiences, mental health struggles, and suicide. These narratives are shared with deep respect and the intent to honour service, foster understanding, and offer hope to those facing similar challenges.
If you are feeling distressed or need support, we encourage you to reach out. Help is available.
-
Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14 (24/7 crisis support)
-
Open Arms – Veterans & Families Counselling: 1800 011 046 (24/7 support for veterans and their families)
Please proceed with care and compassion.
From the moment I stepped into Andy’s home, something shifted. The space was warm, open, and filled with light—not just brightness, but the kind that feels like a return. Like the kind of space that knows what darkness looks like and still chooses light.
Andy welcomed me in with a softness that surprised me. Not timid. Just honest. There was a quiet strength, and the way Zoe sat beside him—steady, close, present—felt like a quiet echo of everything they both had survived together.
When he started to speak, there was no preface. No buildup. He spoke about pain with the kind of clarity that only comes from having lived through it without turning away. He spoke about the darkest place with steady truth. “I started to suffer from suicidal ideation and started to plan how to end my life because it just got really dark,” he said. “I didn’t see the way forward. I went through that horrible cycle of medications… Turned me into a zombie. I was not even here. I lost the ability to empathise with the world… I lost the ability to even love my own children.” He wasn’t trying to shock me. He was just telling the truth.
Major (MAJ) Ret’d
Australian Army
There was a moment he described—a shift. Not clean. Not dramatic. But enough to stop him from stepping further into the dark. In a psychiatric ward, he found a Bible. He didn’t expect anything from it. But something about a single verse stayed with him. “It felt completely opposite to my life. But it shifted my thinking.
Andy never spoke like someone who had figured it all out. He spoke like someone who knows how close the edge can be—and chooses to turn the other way, again and again.
That day, I didn’t see a man defined by trauma or recovery. I saw someone who had rebuilt meaning—not as a grand gesture, but as daily practice. A man who now holds space for others, simply because he knows what it’s like to need it.
He didn’t give me his story like a lesson.
He gave it like a lifeline.
© All rightw reserved. Based on extracts from: Jenani Therone, Of Service, Australia: Harvest Publishing by House of JT, 2024, pages 25 – 32.
© Copyright Notice
The content featured here is extracted from Of Service, the original fine-art publication by Jenani Therone. It is reproduced with permission from both the author and the publisher. All rights are reserved. No part of this content may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means without explicit permission.
