Jay Pinder

~ On the Canvas Of Service, 2023

Sergeant (SGT) Ret’d

Australian Army

We first met at a tavern. Nothing staged—just a casual chat over drinks and snacks. He was easy to talk to, open without being showy. When I visited him again at his home, it was like no time had passed. That’s what mateship really is, I thought. You don’t restart. You just pick up where you left off.

Jay doesn’t draw attention to himself. He works hard, shows up, and quietly holds space for the people around him. He’s not trying to be impressive—he just is. When he spoke about his wife Rebecca, also a fellow serviceperson. It was grounded. You could hear what they’d been through, and what they’d built.

Content Advisory:

The following story contains personal reflections from an Australian veteran that may include themes of trauma, war-related experiences, mental health struggles, and suicide. These narratives are shared with deep respect and the intent to honour service, foster understanding, and offer hope to those facing similar challenges.

If you are feeling distressed or need support, we encourage you to reach out. Help is available.

• Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14 (24/7 crisis support)

• Open Arms – Veterans & Families Counselling: 1800 011 046 (24/7 support for veterans and their families)

Please proceed with care and compassion.

We sat outside. There was no plan—just the kind of conversation that unfolds when someone trusts you with their truth. Jay reflected on what it means to be a veteran, and how the word still feels strange. “I struggle with the term veteran. I still think of an old person, like in World War II, when I hear veteran.” He said it with a smile, almost like it was someone else’s word, not his.

He mentioned something that stayed with me—how Of Service had come up during a drive with a mate. Just the two of them, talking, remembering. “I’ve been telling stories about it because everyone is asking,” he said. “It’s a good thing you’re doing.” It wasn’t praise. It was permission.

Sitting with Jay, there was no performance. Just an ease that made it simple to talk, to listen, to be quiet if that’s what was needed.

You just pick up where you left off.

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